2024: The Year I Stopped Fighting for a Seat at the Wrong Table.

As I sit down to reflect on 2024, it feels like a heavy exhale—a release of emotions, realizations, and lessons that I didn’t know I needed. This year wasn’t gentle with me. It wasn’t the beautifully wrapped gift I had hoped for when the clock struck midnight on January 1st. Instead, it was a mirror, forcing me to face parts of myself I had been avoiding.

For most of the year, I walked into spaces carrying a heavy question on my shoulders: “Am I enough here?” I spent so much time trying to earn a seat at tables where my presence felt forced or even unwelcome. I convinced myself that if I just worked harder, smiled brighter, or shrank myself a little more, maybe—just maybe—they would make space for me. But no invite ever came, and I stayed stuck in this cycle of trying to prove my worth to people and places that had already made up their minds.

It wasn’t just personal—it bled into my professional life too. I was turned down from jobs I felt so aligned with. Each rejection felt personal, like a spotlight on my inadequacies. I started to question everything: Am I undesirable? Unlikable? Invisible?

If you’ve ever felt this way, you know how quickly those thoughts can spiral. And if you’ve ever shared them with close friends or family, you’ve probably heard something along the lines of: “Girl, everyone loves you! Stop being so hard on yourself.” And while those words are well-intentioned and often true, they didn’t match what I was feeling. Because in my world, in my head, it felt like I was showing up empty-handed to every room I entered.

But somewhere along this winding road of self-doubt and comparison, a light started to flicker. A thought emerged—quiet at first, but persistent: Why am I fighting so hard for a seat at a table that clearly doesn’t have space for me?

Why was I exhausting myself, trying to mold my essence to fit into spaces that weren’t designed for me in the first place? And more importantly, why was I looking for validation from others when I wasn’t even giving it to myself?

That realization hit hard. It forced me to confront a truth I had been running from: I had lost sight of my self-love journey. I had drifted away from the foundation I worked so hard to build. I forgot that the most important relationship I’ll ever have is the one I have with myself.

So I started asking myself different questions:

• Am I showing up for me the way I expect others to?

• Am I speaking kindly to myself?

• Am I celebrating my own wins, big or small?

If I couldn’t answer yes to those questions, then that’s where the work needed to start. With me.

2024 was the year I learned that validation from others will always feel hollow if I’m not first giving it to myself. It was the year I realized that not every rejection is a reflection of my worth—it’s often just redirection. And most importantly, it was the year I learned to stop trying to sit at tables that were never meant for me in the first place.

As I look ahead to the next chapter, I’m walking into 2025 with a new mantra: “I don’t need a seat at every table—I’ll build my own.”

If you’ve found yourself in a similar place this year, I hope you give yourself the same grace. Stop chasing spaces that don’t honor you. Stop looking for worth in rooms that don’t see your light. Instead, turn inward. Love yourself harder. Validate yourself fiercely. And when you do that, you’ll realize that you’ve been enough all along.

Here’s to building tables where we all feel seen, valued,

and celebrated.